A slight tension sits in my chest, tying my stomach in a knot, and thumping like a race horses in my heart.

Anxiety: my toxic friend, who promises control only to instead control me.

Anxiety: the voice that says ‘I am God, and He is not.’

This morning, she visits me, stealing my rest and my joy. Let it not be so.

The Lord who brough chaos into order when he first said, “Let there be light” can still bring my chaos into order. He is present even now, like the wind, and I know not where He goes, but I know he’s always there. Sometimes he is still, sometimes he rages violently. I do not control him. I need only wait, pause, and stand as he flows through me and around me. At times He is barely noticeable, sitting still – but he is there. Other times, he rushes forcefully, taking away my breath. Only let me be mindful of his presence, and ever seeking moments to meditate upon his might. His might, which manifests both as a fierce breeze and the wind’s harnessed halt.

He alone can tame a storm. He alone can tame me. I must surrender myself to him yet again.

Friday, November 4th, 2022.