On Thomas’s second birthday, I tried teaching him how to say his age. My goal was for him to say “Two Years Old.” But when I ask him “How old are you?”, he usually still stares at me with a blank face. Sometimes though, if I’m both lucky and patient, he will say– “Two Old.” And I think to myself, yes Thomas, you are Too Old. Where did the time go? How is he already so grown?

On Dylan’s Birthday, I tried to teach Thomas how to say “Happy Birthday”. I told him, Dad is “Twenty-seven.” When Dylan came home he ran up to him, and instead of saying, “Happy Birthday” he repeatedly shouted, “Twenty-Seven, Twenty-Seven.” Still if we ask Thomas how old he is, he will pause for a moment. But if we ask Thomas, as we did this evening, how old Dad is, he will immediately say “Twenty-Seven.”

This is the phrase that Thomas would often use after he would trip and fall when he was first learning his words. Not much of a sentence, but he was definitely understanding the sequence of events. It was pretty cute.

One way we get Thomas out the door is by telling him we are going to see friends. One time I was trying to teach him the actual name of my friend Angela, but he still just kept calling her “friend”

Today Thomas came and told me “Charlie sad”, then took my by the hand and led me to the living room to a crying Charlie. I knew Charlie was crying of course, I was just trying to quickly get a household task done. But with Thomas advocating so kindly for his brother, I of course had to drop everything and go with him. He is such a good big brother.

Thomas has begun to greet Charlie in the morning. He will also sometimes run up to him, look down with a sympathetic and gentle gaze, and say in a soft hi voice “Hi Charlie.” Our children really do imitate us, right down to the very tone of our voice.

This is a good reminder for me as he has also begun to say “Stop it” or “Don’t fall” very firmly and loudly, clearly imitating me in the moments where I do raise my tone with him. (whoops) He also says “Ah shoot” when he knocks something over. I’m just thankful he doesn’t say shit, because, well, what can I say. Sometimes I slip up.

The days aren’t perfect. Trying my best to grow and to continue modeling patience, and reminding myself that I’m not a total failure just because I have a bad day or a bad moment. “All or nothing thinking” is hard to break when it is so ingrained.